Brooks Brothers I'm Breaking Up with You (not that we were ever official)
I wish I could just lie and deliver the whole 'it's me, not you' spiel on you but I can no longer to turn a blind eye to what you have been doing to yourself lately. It's not healthy for you and me, and you won't improve until you've acknowledged that you've taken a turn for the worst. It's YOU, not me. There, I said it. Only when you can accept that can you prepare to move on. You've been suspecting that I have been cheating behind your back with Rugby and Gant, and though that is true, it was just harmless flirtation until you decided to go crazy this year. I don't understand what you're trying to do anymore and you don't care to explain why. Don't think that I dumped you just for this one mistake–there have been many blunders along the way over the years but I've had enough and this is just the final blow. Our relationship in the past has never been too healthy anyway; the only reason that we got together because you were socially acceptable to be seen with in boarding school and for the most part, to give you some credit, you have been treating me OK. Sadly the doe-eyed thirteen year girl has grown up, and OK to meddling and just plain bad is simply no longer good enough. I grew up and it's time that you will. I don't want to be so mean/harsh as to ignore you completely from now on–I know I will still be seeing you from time to time–nevertheless this is going to be goodbye. At least for now.